I am the sixth of eight children. Five sisters and two brothers. Three older sisters, two older brothers, and two younger sisters. My mom had five miscarriages. One before me, one after me, one after my next younger sister, and two after my youngest sister. Had she not miscarried, my parents would have had thirteen children. I would have had another older brother or sister, and four more younger siblings. So if you are a pro-choice advocate reading this, and you defend abortion by claiming that it’s not a child, that it’s a clump of cells, please give me a call and tell me that the five children my mom miscarried weren’t actually babies. That she just miscarried a bunch of cells, instead of my siblings. Tell my mom that that she wasn’t carrying her sons and daughters. Tell her that grieving the loss of her five babies means nothing.
Or is it just a clump of cells when an individual doesn’t want to carry the child to term?
Today marks the 43rd anniversary of Roe v Wade, the court case that declared abortion to be a fundamental right protected by the United States Constitution. Since that day, over 57 million babies have been aborted. 57 million souls that never had the chance to go to kindergarten. Or graduate from high school. Or go to college. Or fall in love. So as my family members and friends march today in Washington DC and tomorrow in San Francisco and Los Angeles to defend life, I support them with every ounce of my being and thank them for their dedication.
I will forever be pro-life with no exceptions. I believe in the value and dignity of every human life, from conception to natural death. I have a lot of friends who are not pro-life, and it breaks my heart. I don’t believe that children are consequences. I know how easily forces beyond our control can take life away, so I do everything I can to help protect all innocent lives.
It’s not easy to be pro-life in a pro-choice society. Especially with heavy social media use, we’re constantly surrounded by images and mentalities that remind us of the world’s mission to degrade the dignity of human life. Abortion becomes a subplot of TV shows and movies to perpetuate the concept of a woman’s bodily autonomy, namely the “my body, my choice” tagline that comes with being a pro-choice woman. Women attack men by saying that because they don’t have a uterus, they shouldn’t be involved a woman’s reproductive health decisions. And by doing so, allow men everywhere to adopt an “it’s-not-my-business” attitude. As if they have nothing to do with the conception of a child. #ok. Attitudes like this are becoming more common, and with that are approaching dangerous moral limits. Abortion is never a light subject (and should not be treated as such), and more often than not, will provoke heated, emotionally-charged arguments.
Pro-choice advocates like to push a narrative that pro-life = anti-women and that the quest to abolish abortion is a “war on women.” But as New Wave Feminists often say, “When our liberation costs innocent lives, it is merely oppression redistributed.” Here’s a passage from Feminists for Life founder Serrin Foster’s The Feminist Case Against Abortion:
“In 1973, Weddington (prosecuting attorney in Roe v. Wade) exposed the discrimination and other injustices faced by pregnant women who are poor or in the workplace or school. But she did not demand that these injustices be remedied. Instead, she demanded for women the “right” to submit to these injustices by destroying their pregnancies. Weddington repeatedly said that women need “relief” from pregnancy, instead of arguing that women need relief from these injustices.
What if Weddington had used her legal acumen to challenge the system and address women’s needs? Women are not suddenly stupid when they become pregnant. They can still read, write and think. But by accepting pregnancy discrimination in school and in the workplace, by accepting the widespread lack of support for pregnant women and parents—especially among the poor—Weddington and the Supreme Court betrayed women and undermined the support women need and deserve.”
Which is really the war on women here? Something that pro-choice advocates seem to skip over while accusing pro-life advocates of being bible-thumping misogynists is that advocating for the abolishment of abortion is not “I don’t want women to be able to have abortions,” it’s “I don’t want women to ever feel like abortion is an option they need to consider.” Let’s talk about a real war on women: female infanticide in countries like China and India. Do you still support a women’s right to choose when it means aborting because of the sex of her baby, specifically, when her baby is female?
They’ve said that pro-life advocates only care about the baby when it’s inside the womb, and that once it’s born, they don’t care about it, and judge their mothers for asking for handouts. I disagree. Being pro-life doesn’t stop after a baby is born. I’m the sixth of eight kids. I know that raising children is not cheap. I’m not ashamed to say that we received help from food closets and from government programs. Access to programs such as WIC was vital for my family. We have an extensive family and friend network who provided childcare while my parents were able to work. Because we believe that no one should have to feel like they’re alone. I’ve supported friends who have had babies young. I’ve babysat, I’ve had them spend the night at my house and volunteered to do early morning feedings so they could sleep. As a pro-life advocate, I support women and families having access to programs and necessities that provide them with the assistance they need so that they never have to feel the need to abort their child in order to lead successful lives.
Being pro-life DOESN’T stop after the baby is born.
The pro-life movement receives much criticism for frequently suggesting adoption as an alternative to abortion. I came to the realization the other day that I have an adopted cousin. Yes, that sounds strange. My cousin Jerome is 30 years old and was adopted from South Korea. I don’t think it ever really occurred to me that in his birth mother choosing life, she gave Jerome the chance to be a part of a crazy awesome family (yeah, I’m biased, whatever). Yes, there is a lot to work on in the adoption and foster care system in the US. Yes, we will never support abusive homes for these kids. But if you are against adoption because of a broken system, are you suggesting that it would be better off for these children to be aborted? Instead of recognizing the potential for them to live a great life and working to fix the system, it’d be better to just completely deprive them of any life whatsoever? Both pro-life and pro-choice advocates need work together to improve and fix the system so that no child ever feels unwanted. There is no such thing as an unwanted child. Perhaps the birth mother did not want the child, or felt she couldn’t provide for it, but somewhere out there, there’s a family or a couple waiting to be able to welcome that child with open arms and hearts.
So now we’re left with a glaring question: how do we convince a pro-choice world to become pro-life? We live in a society where bacteria is considered life on Mars, but a baby is a clump of cells until it is viable. Abortion is “my body, my choice” despite the fact that the new human zygote formed in the womb of its mother has a genetic composition completely separate from its mother, and is different from any other human that has ever existed. People believe that some lives are more worthy of living than others. It is our job to educate the masses. Women (and men) deserve better than abortion. Every person deserves life.
Resources for anyone who has had an abortion or abortion workers looking for a way out: